Poor Kate

So it’s time.Kate-Middleton

We’ll never know if the DoC succumbed to the dangerous delights of a curry or a bit of the other to hasten the birth along, but now it’s time. And I for one, am really sorry for her.

Like first time Mums around the world she is no doubt bricking it. The Royal House’s sway and influence and obgyn nous will not matter one jot when it comes down to the very ‘one born every minute’ business end of it.

Every woman has her moment in labour. Irrespective of class, or husband’s bank account or royal title. And right now, I’m feeling for you, Duchess.

The horror that is feeling the pressure to birth according to another’s schedule (in my case my then husband’s company desire to send us overseas,  in the DoC’s case the whole world’s media schedule), the anxiety that is hoping for some sense of control in a birth plan that you’ve carefully considered and put down IN STONE..only to find it thrown out the window the moment the baby moves its annoyingly ‘posterior’ head.

Not to mention that failure to perform on cue..To be ‘late’..to cause ‘bother’ because the baby’s quite happy in situ.

And in the Duchess’s case there’s no coffee group members to sympathise and hold her hand. Sure there’s Prince William, but unless I’m mistaken he doesn’t have a uterus and can’t quite empathise, try as he might.

And I’m certain like loving men everywhere he is trying. Of that I have no doubt.

But birth is undoubtedly the utmost ‘woman’s business’.

I’ve heard of a tribe somewhere that ties a rope to the man’s genitals and every time she feels a ripping labour pain she pulls that rope. I like that idea. I think that gives some measure of the pain and fear involved, and helps him feel it too.

And that’s not even touching on the modern ‘politics’ of birth, that say that a natural birth is superior to a caesarian, that an episiotomy is failure in a cut, and that pain relief is an ether smoke signal for ‘weakling’.

Where did all of this come from?

Who said that natural birth was preferable to a c-section? If I’d had a natural birth I’d be dead now, yes even in these modern days. And as for the common misconception ‘too posh to push’… Who said this? Who said it was easier to have major abdominal surgery than to push your baby out through a birth canal designed exactly for that purpose?

Who said it was easier to not be able to sit up and feed your baby because of the overwhelming pain of a hip to hip cut? Who said it was any less brave? More posh? More acceptable?

I’m anxious for you Ma’am. I wish you strength and courage and determination that will see you through a birthing process that is in itself a challenge, a trial, and yet something of a blessing. I’m raising a glass of good wine to you DoC. Lord, Ma’am you’re going to enjoy it when this trial of labour is done. Make it a good NZ Sauvignon Blanc.

And ask Prince William if he can rustle you up a decent coffee group of other young mums, they will be so much more valuable than any baby nurse.

What do you think? Is childbirth the great class leveller?


'Poor Kate' has 11 comments

  1. July 22, 2013 @ 11:11 am Mrs TeePot

    Well said! I do wish they’d all leave the poor woman alone, it must add so much more stress knowing that there’s an entire world out there waiting for you to give birth. I don’t envy her.


    • July 22, 2013 @ 9:02 pm vegemitevix

      I’m picking they kept all outside news from her to be honest. Even in a normal birth your whole world shrinks to that labour room or operating theatre.


  2. July 22, 2013 @ 10:08 pm jen

    never knew that about the tribe – interesting

    I dont feel like plunket did much to help, a baby nurse exclusively for your baby might have helped
    however I hope the baby nurse doesnt get in the way of the DoC and her new sons relationship

    surely she has friends that are young mums that can be trusted

    I wish them all the best


    • July 23, 2013 @ 10:02 pm vegemitevix

      Ah Plunket and the Plunketline… whilst not perfect at least they were there with advice. I do admit hiding my real feelings about breastfeeding from the visiting midwife though. She seemed to think I would be able to function feeding my baby by lying on top of him and placing my swollen archipelago of boob into his little wee lips. I have always wondered how that would have gone down in the cafe on coffee mornings.


  3. July 23, 2013 @ 7:49 am MidlifeSinglemum

    Feel sorry for her? No! I’m not going to list all the reasons but no one has everything. Those people who write about the lack of privacy and the pressure, and how wonderful their own experience was – just the immediate family, etc. – I bet they didn’t have anythnig and everything laid on for them when they came home. She may not be going to employ a nanny but she sure as hell doesn’t have to keep the bathroom clean, cook supper, run to the supermarket, balance the bank account, pay bills and file them, hoover the carpet, etc, etc, etc. Nor will she ever have to do any of the above. And they can close the gates to their palaces and not answer the phone.


    • July 23, 2013 @ 7:51 am MidlifeSinglemum

      Hm, I did list most of the reasons so I’ll just add that she also has no worries about whether they will be able to afford the best education, opportunities, health care and holidays for this little boy.


      • July 23, 2013 @ 10:00 pm vegemitevix

        Again true. It does make you think about the other babies that came into the world yesterday and what world they came into.


    • July 23, 2013 @ 9:59 pm vegemitevix

      Oh so true. I remember busting my stitches vacuuming.


      • July 24, 2013 @ 11:43 am MidlifeSinglemum

        After reading and commenting here I saw the personal hairdresser and lady’s maid with the ironed ‘leaving dress’ go into the hospital. I had to laugh when I remembered retrieving my crumpled dress from my bag, where it had been scrunched at the bottom for the three days I was in the hospital. And my bed-hair was just tucked away in a scrunchy until I could get home and shower properly.


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