I Would Do Anything For Love

So says the song, and it sounds amazing. True, passionate, die for you, love.

But would ya, really?

heart knickers

Would you wax your girlfriend's bits, for love?

How about back pimples? Would you squeeze your beloved’s back pimples? Or pluck bum hairs? Personally that’s a poke too far for me, but for some people (mainly apes and others of the hairy species) it’s a sign of endearment.

What about waxing your girlfriend’s lady’s bits. Would you do that?

I knew one couple who took great pride in telling me that’s what they did for fun. He took great pleasure in that, he told me. Nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like ripping the pubic hairs from your woman’s genitals and making her wince with pain.

I confess it doesn’t ring my bells, but then nowt queer as folks, as they say over here.

I asked my nearest and dearest.

“Nothing. I would do everything for you,” he said.

“Excellent. Shall we start with the dishes?”

Love is such a fickle thing, it’s amazing how quickly the enthusiasm wanes.

I would do anything for love. In fact I have moved across the world, climbed a mountain (or two), got married again (when I said I would never)  but I won’t….

1) Wax back hair. Or sack or crack hair. Ditto for nasal hair, ear hair and those wiry grey tigers that spring from the chest when he reaches manopause.

2) Cook an animals’ internal organs for his dinner. That means no black pudding (blood isn’t an organ but it’s pretty essential to the whole organ functioning thing), brains, kidney, haggis, or tripe. I’m still recovering from the nightmare of suctioning out tripe from the collapsed larynx of an elderly patient over 20 years ago.

3) Have cosmetic surgery for him. I may have it for me, (in fact I have done) but I would never have it for anyone else.

4) Bungi jump or sky dive. If God had intended we bungi jump he would have ensured they couldn’t cut the umbilical chord.

5) Be anyone but myself.

There’s my limits. What are yours?

 

Image: Flickr CC

By Janine – http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkcotton/


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'I Would Do Anything For Love' has 15 comments

  1. February 28, 2012 @ 11:38 am Heather

    Seriously? Waxing his girlfriends bikini line? Have these people never heard of TV? there are other, more enjoyable ways of spending your time. *shudder*

    Reply

    • February 28, 2012 @ 11:41 am Anonymous

      It was his wife’s actually but I felt a bit yucky about it. I always do mine in private.

      Reply

  2. February 28, 2012 @ 12:17 pm Zaggora

    Ha this is a great post…waxing anything is a line I think many would draw!

    If you haven’t heard of Zaggora or our signature HotPants, we’re a UK-based wellness and health company that loves connecting with bloggers on all topics health, fitness, food, and life in general. Hope you’ll check out our blog at http://www.zaggoragirl.com!

    Reply

    • February 28, 2012 @ 12:55 pm Anonymous

       Glad we’re on the same page Zaggora, I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was being a little prim and proper.

      Reply

  3. February 28, 2012 @ 1:51 pm Expat Mum

    Play golf. I have had lessons, apparently I could be very good, but I’m afraid it bores the pants off me. The Ball & Chain and the three kids are all into it, and I know they would like nothing more than for me to join in, but I usually just sit in the shade “watching them” – with a good book!

    Reply

    • February 29, 2012 @ 9:52 am Anonymous

       I was a golf orphan and did try to get into it in my first marriage but wasn’t tremendously successful. For me it’s gaming. Just doesn’t interest me I’m afraid. Not even a little bit.

      Reply

  4. February 28, 2012 @ 6:33 pm Ca4ole

    Actually I think you would have to be a bit odd to volunteer to do any of those things – but if you have to because the person is bed ridden or something then yeah – the song is true

    Reply

    • February 29, 2012 @ 9:53 am Anonymous

      That’s so true I think when they are very ill that’s a whole different world and as one other commenter has said, women can be very strong when they need to be. 

      Reply

  5. February 28, 2012 @ 6:36 pm Steve

    I would keep my self respect for love and expect my partner to do the same. Doesn’t make for a catchy song title though, does it?

    Reply

    • February 29, 2012 @ 9:55 am Anonymous

      Exactly! Funny how it isn’t a popular romantic view either. These days teens buy into the celebrity culture that says we should change ourselves to keep love. I’ve learnt that fighting to be authentically yourself is way more important in the long run.

      Reply

  6. February 29, 2012 @ 3:02 am Clippymat

    hi: thanks for coming to visit my blog last week and for your nice comments. just popped by for a shufty about and a read. def. would NOT do just ANYTHING for love, you’ve got to draw the line somewhere right? 😀

    Reply

    • February 29, 2012 @ 9:55 am Anonymous

      Hi Clippymat nice to see you here! I’m thinking you wouldn’t do some of those bathroom thingies for love. Am I right?

      Reply

  7. February 29, 2012 @ 3:48 am S.P.C.

    I have cleaned my husband up from the toilet when he was very sick – women can do pretty much anything…. 

    Reply

    • February 29, 2012 @ 9:56 am Anonymous

      I know hun. You are a remarkable, strong woman. xxx

      Reply

  8. February 29, 2012 @ 12:54 pm Anonymous

    I am now singing that bloody awful Meatloaf song,   There is much I wouldn’t do for love but then I am a grumpy old fart.  Plus if you love someone you shouldn’t expect them to do ‘anything’ for you!  – It’s my excuse and I am sticking to it!

    Reply


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