Lettuce Prey

There’s no asking. None of it. No ‘please may I’. Vegemitevix scares away hungry teens

There is only pilfering on unsuspecting prey.

From my spot on the couch in the lounge I can hear footsteps in the kitchen.

Cupboards open. A tap is turned.

I wait expectantly. Any moment now.

I could recognise those movements anywhere. It’s 14 yr old Dark Princess. Isn’t strange how you get to know which of your children it is by their movements, and their habits.

I sip my coffee slowly. Am I smiling?

A little.

The door to the fridge has opened. Yet within minutes it’s shut.

I try to remain quiet in the lounge. I struggle against inhaling my coffee through giggling.

The fridge door opens again. AND SHUTS.

”That can’t be right,’ she’s thinking. I can almost see the perplexed look on her face.

But she is her mother’s daughter. Determined. Focussed. Hungry.

Nonchalently I walk into the kitchen. Dark Princess is at the fridge door.

‘Go on. Open it. Dare ya’ I think to myself smiling.

‘You know you want to’.

And she does. She opens the fridge door, but within seconds she’s whimpering. Her hands clasped firmly across her ears.

‘Can you hear it? What is it?’ She wails.

I can’t hear anything. I’m too old to hear it.

‘Nup. Don’t know what you’re going on about’.

She throws a sulky pout, slams the fridge door shut and storms out. Making sure she has left the area I sneak over to the fridge and open the door. I can’t hear anything high-pitched and annoying. ‘Where did he put it?’ I look through the top shelf behind the milk, up behind the eggs, and then finally I open the vegetable drawer containing an old shrivelled red pepper and a bag of lettuce leaves.

I’m guessing my Englishman has put it where the kids would never look. In the vege drawer. Sure enough I reach into the bag of lettuce leaves and pull out the little electronic device he’s made for me.

It’s a mosquito. It emits a high pitched sound that drives grazing teenagers nuts. Adults can’t hear it. Teenagers will eat their own elbows to get away from it.

Every Mum of teenagers should have one! I reccommend you hide it in the lettuce.

There’ll never look there!

Image Flickr CC: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trinity/


'Lettuce Prey' has 21 comments

  1. June 10, 2010 @ 1:01 pm Mummy Mania

    I LOVE this!! OK so my kids are only 4 and under – would it work for them and keep them out of my make-up drawer? They should give these out at the hospital! I’m going to bulk buy. Has she figured it out yet??


  2. June 10, 2010 @ 3:57 pm Notes From Lapland

    no way!! I NEED one of these. Not for teenagers but to keep me out of the fridge! Genius. you could market it and make a fortune!


  3. June 10, 2010 @ 3:57 pm Notes From Lapland

    umm…I wonder if it works on little children too…could think of a thousand uses for one.


  4. June 10, 2010 @ 2:55 pm Steve

    Oh ho. What fun I could have with this. Can i have one please? Remote controlled? Next time my eldest has a PlayStation induced tantrum I could hit the on button. Pretty please? I'll even pay.


  5. June 10, 2010 @ 4:28 pm brightonmumteenageangst

    What a great use of the gadget! Brilliant! That must have driven your daughter mad…hehehe! They used to use these at the doors of our shopping mall in Brighton, where ALL the teens converged, think it must be broken now though as they're all back…hanging around. I don't know cos us 'over 20 anything' can't hear them, no tiny inner ear hairs left


  6. June 10, 2010 @ 5:18 pm vegemitevix

    Isn't it great!! And the best thing – my man the electronics whizz made it for me so it's perfectly fit for purpose. 🙂


  7. June 10, 2010 @ 5:18 pm vegemitevix

    Definately would!!! Only works on young ears.


  8. June 10, 2010 @ 5:19 pm vegemitevix

    My Englishman made it for me. He's good like that!


  9. June 10, 2010 @ 5:19 pm vegemitevix

    We could quite possibly make it remote controlled. Wonder if my Englishman would be keen on marketing it as a parenting tool?


  10. June 10, 2010 @ 5:20 pm vegemitevix

    No. She didn't figure it out. It was most amusing. My Englishman is an electronics whizz and he made it for me. Most romantic pressie I've ever received! 🙂


  11. June 10, 2010 @ 6:25 pm Dara

    OMG! First, give him a big smooch! I've heard of these being used at malls and thought it was a little Orwellian, but in the fridge! That's just brilliant! And the closets and piggy banks too, would be great!
    Seriously, this is amazing! You are both brilliant. Tell him he must start selling them on Etsy or something. They don't damage their ears at all, right?
    Oooh I could just stick one on the front door when all the neighbour kids are over mucking about in my driveway.


  12. June 10, 2010 @ 9:07 pm Muddling Along Mummy

    Now would these work on the rabbits that seem to have managed to find a way to get through my electric fence?

    You are mega sneaky

    And lovely – it was wonderful to see you today – so glad to finally meet you. Now when do I get to see you again!!!


  13. June 11, 2010 @ 10:51 am Di Bindman

    You could make a fortune with that – tell him to go on Dragon's Den!


  14. June 11, 2010 @ 1:42 pm Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    Loved it!


  15. December 3, 2010 @ 8:21 pm MultipleMum

    That is a classic! I have never heard of such a thing. With three boys, I will definitely have to invest 🙂 When I read the title of your post over at Weekend Rewind, it took me straight back to the Catholic church mass I used to go to. I always thought they said “Lettuce prey”…


  16. December 3, 2010 @ 9:02 pm Maxabella

    Your post title alone was enough to get me over here and your post didn’t disappoint. I was hanging on every word… I can’t believe they have made such a device and I’m very impressed that you’ve stashed it in the lettuce. So cool! x


  17. December 4, 2010 @ 12:49 am life in a pink fibro

    I love the idea of this. Don’t need one yet – but surely I will in time to come!


  18. December 4, 2010 @ 9:13 am Anonymous

    Where do I get one


  19. December 4, 2010 @ 2:06 pm Gill@Ourparklife

    what a fabulous post….and yep, they will never look in the veggie drawer!


  20. December 5, 2010 @ 9:58 am ClaireyH

    Wow, is this real, how fantastic, my kids don’t help themselves yet, but I am sure they will!


  21. December 5, 2010 @ 10:17 am Anonymous

    Having just raided the fridge myself, I’m a bit conflicted after reading this post. I am however, comforted by the fact that I’d be too old to hear anything other than my flailing conscience.


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