Revenge best served hot or cold?

I’m not really a vengeful person.

Generally I’m nice and polite and I suffer a multitude of injustices by pounding the tarmac or beating the pillow.

There is one person however who always manages to be the undoing of my mature facade. Not because he has been so wounding and hateful to me, (though he has!) but because he has hurt my children so badly and continues to do so.

This week the noxious ex sent Son a present for his 16th birthday.

It was a box of sweets, L&P and pies. Two boxes actually. I’m sure it cost a fair amount of money to send, but really….

Son was happy enough with it. He’s a teenage boy and he got food!!

But I was livid.

So much for treating the kid for his birthday! Surely he could have spent some of his merchant banker’s income on something decent for his only son? Something that might help him with sixth form college or a mobile phone…something practical and helpful?

Nope he got pies.

So in a fit of revenge I ate them. Not all of them. I didn’t eat all the pies!

There were four and only three kids so I ate one.  It was childish and silly, but it made me feel surprisingly better.

Here’s my revenge lunch.

revenge of the pies

Revenge best served hot!

As I chowed down I thought –

This is for the time you stopped paying all maintenance money on the same day that I lost my job, so our children had no support at all from their parents, yet you managed to find enough money to holiday in Cairns with your girlfriend.

Yum. Cheese and mince. Tasty!

This is for constantly forgetting to ring the kids or be in touch, and yet claiming you miss them soooooo much that the NZ child support people take out the cost of air travel to see them from the money I need to put food on their table!

Nom. Nom. Nom.

And this great big bite is for not paying the kids’ private school fees but instead taking off on holiday to Jamaica (from New Zealand!).

I could have gone on, but I ran out of pie.

Silly, childish. Purile even. I know. I know. Forgive me, indulge me? Some pie for you?

I learnt something today.

Revenge is usually best served cold, but sometimes, only rarely mind, it tastes pretty good served hot, and with tomato sauce!


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'Revenge best served hot or cold?' has 72 comments

  1. May 6, 2010 @ 3:48 pm MrsW

    Ooooh – I was so going to say cold then I read this…. pies? A birthday gift of pop and pies? A Heston Blumenthal pie MAYBE… it would have actually been worth the postage to kick the box around for half and hour then post it back as “address unknown” bwahahaha!

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 3:50 pm vegemitevix

      Thank you Mrs W I was starting to wonder if maybe I was you know becoming a bitch…

      Reply

  2. May 6, 2010 @ 3:53 pm utterlyscrummy

    YUM! Big ben pies? L&P OMG! Would have been nice for the inconsiderate shite to spring for something better tho. Maybe when he is 18? Sounds like a selfish dropkick.

    Glad you have moved on to brighter and better things. Hope you’re OK hun xx

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 4:15 pm vegemitevix

      Er no. Not even Big Ben pies! A brand I’ve not ever heard of before from the SANZA shop. But it would have been helpful if it had been money for his bank account, or clothes or a phone or anything really. He went up to Sainsbury the very day he turned 16 to get a job.

      Reply

  3. May 6, 2010 @ 4:04 pm The Moiderer

    Cheese and mince pie? really? how strange. Nice venom , I felt it along with you. Go Vicki

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 4:09 pm vegemitevix

      It’s a New Zealand tradition, although amusingly these pies aren’t an NZ brand. Bought at the SANZA store in London but a brand I’ve never heard of.

      Reply

  4. May 6, 2010 @ 5:04 pm The Moiderer

    Cheese and mince pie? really? how strange. Nice venom , I felt it along with you. Go Vicki

    Reply

  5. May 6, 2010 @ 4:13 pm Pants With Names

    There’s nowt so strange as folk – at what point did his brain compute that would be a good present for a 16 year old? Taste that revenge, you deserved every delicate morsel!

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:01 pm vegemitevix

      I guess what really got me is that of course the kids’ love it, but it’s ice-cream parenting. It’s not helpful or constructive or thoughtful. My Englishman and I get to do all the ‘dirty parenting’. All the horrible punishments, and to scrape to provide for all three kids. My ex justifies this by saying he doesnt want to subsidise my lifestyle! Oh and that I chose to come and live in the UK.

      Reply

  6. May 6, 2010 @ 4:43 pm JulieB

    Fantastic – hope you enjoyed every mouthful!

    Reply

  7. May 6, 2010 @ 5:43 pm JulieB

    Fantastic – hope you enjoyed every mouthful!

    Reply

  8. May 6, 2010 @ 5:31 pm mummymania

    Fantastic!

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:02 pm vegemitevix

      I know this post does paint me as somewhat twisted I guess, but it was worth every bite!

      Reply

  9. May 6, 2010 @ 5:46 pm Steve

    I’d have put teethmarks in the crust and sent them back. What a git. Has he ever seen Scrooged? Billy Murray’s Scrooge as a boy is given some meat for Christmas by his nasty butcher dad. I’m sure you could find a link to the scene on YouTube and email it to him.

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:04 pm vegemitevix

      That would have been excellent to send him back the crust. You know it makes me feel a wee bit better that a bloke thinks this is shitty behaviour!

      Reply

  10. May 6, 2010 @ 6:34 pm mummylimited

    What an odd gift. Why not wire him some money too so he could get a proper gift. Glad you enjoyed it. You should’ve sent him a pic of you tucking in.

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:05 pm vegemitevix

      I should have. Poor kid actually went up to Sainsbury’s to try and get a job that very afternoon!

      Reply

  11. May 6, 2010 @ 6:47 pm diney

    very strange gift – was it a metaphor or something? Like Forest Gump and ‘life is just a box of chocolates’ !! Or is he just a bit weird?!! Mad a good blog post though, and you enjoyed a bit of pie, which has to be a change I imagine!

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:06 pm vegemitevix

      Nope not a metaphor. He does it with all three kids. He’s quite a different character.

      Reply

  12. May 6, 2010 @ 7:53 pm scribblingmum

    I loved this post! Grrr to absent men who put their own anger and hurt before their kids. My nieces dad is feckin shameful. After her first holiday with just her mum when she was 11 she had used her own money to buy him a little pot of honey as a gift. And you know what he said? ‘No thanks I’ve got some in the cupboard’ Aaarrgghh! Happy Birthday to your baby boy x

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:08 pm vegemitevix

      That is so heartless what a horrible man. The kids feel quite defensive and I really understand that, but it makes me so angry and really puts the pressure on us to provide for them.

      Reply

  13. May 6, 2010 @ 8:14 pm Chic Mama

    Grrrr, back…..what is wrong with these men and how do they keep getting away with it?
    So, so sorry. Children are easily pleased aren’t they and we sit there seething trying not to let it show.
    I found out something today, actually the things I find out are virtually a full time occupation, soooo cross. My blog only covers some of what happens as I’m so scared of being ‘found’.
    I hope you actually enjoyed the pie….most of the stuff my children receive I can barely touch, let alone eat. :0(
    How tight sending pies though….and L & P? What is that?
    Take care. xxxx

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:10 pm vegemitevix

      I can only explain it by thinking that very few women would ever ‘divorce’ their children but some men seem to do it so easily. Out with the old family, in with the new family. Out with the old wife, in with the new? L&P is a New Zealand softdrink. It is special in that sense and I don’t have an issue with that…I just feel that their Father should actually do more to support his children.

      Reply

  14. May 6, 2010 @ 9:33 pm Heather Davis

    My favourite saying is “the only thing worse than a husband is an ex-husband”! Hope you enjoyed every bite of that pie. What a crap pressie. We have a lot to rant about when we meet up! Mine never fails to amaze me either.

    Reply

  15. May 6, 2010 @ 9:20 pm Interested By Stander

    Nothing quite like telling half the story – last time he sent money for the Dark Princess for her birthday she never got it. Perhaps thats why he never sent money for the 16 yr old. You spent it instead and left her with nothing. The proper present for the 16th birthday is still transitting by post – it’s a long way from NZ to the UK in case you have forgotten.

    And lastly – maybe the 16 year old asked for pies as part of his present. Not everything for a birthday has to be practical. Excellent that apart from manipulating everthing that has happened to paint the blackest picture of the father, you also take the 16 yr olds present. Is there a pattern here? Stop painting yourself as the long suffering hard done by woman. Get off your chuff and get on with providing for your children. Its your responsibility as well as his – how much money have you put on the table for support in the last 12 months????

    Do you have the guts to post this comment or will you censure it to make sure your followers only receive the Vix “sanitised and manipulated” version of events.

    And its not the “ex” commenting. Just someone who knows the sad sorry saga and can’t believe that it has come to this.

    Reply

  16. May 6, 2010 @ 9:40 pm vegemitevix

    So I received a lovely comment from an Interested By Stander. Well nosey person you don’t have as much information as you might suspect. You do not have accurate information about what the children have had or not had. And as for getting off my chuff and earning money over the past 12 months – well a)I was restricted from working (or leaving the country) by the UK Home Office. I have the court details to prove this. b)My husband, has provided for all three children, buying clothes, food, putting a roof over their heads the entire time…and they’re not his blood childen!And as for publishing my view of events – this is my blog. My space.

    Reply

    • May 6, 2010 @ 9:52 pm Interested By Stander

      Charming. Your blog, your space, your fantasy world from the sounds of it……

      Reply

      • May 7, 2010 @ 7:26 am Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

        I find it odd that you would be so interested. What makes the world such a great place is if you don’t like something you read, you really don’t have to come back.

        And this is a place where the blogger is free to write things from her own point of view. Her side. With her friends and her support.

        Get over it and please be noxious and obnoxious somewhere else.

        Reply

      • May 7, 2010 @ 11:55 pm nondomestic goddess

        That’s hysterical you-know-who-you-are pretending to be an impartial – come on ‘fess up – we all know it’s you – dork. Why else would you be an “Interested By Stander” (I think it’s bystander isn’t it – or are you something else we don’t about). Commenting on what? Who do you represent? inadequate parents worldwide – come on “man up” and front up.

        Reply

  17. May 6, 2010 @ 9:48 pm Muddling Along

    I don’t know how you retain your sense of humour during all of this – he’s acted appallingly and yet you have managed to come through, find your Englishman, keep your family together and come through brighter and better

    Meh to him (and to any interested commentators allied to him)

    Reply

    • May 7, 2010 @ 7:05 pm vegemitevix

      Thank you for your support. I do lose my sense of humour but I always seem to grab it back again. I guess it’s my survival strategy. xx

      Reply

  18. May 6, 2010 @ 4:48 pm MrsW

    Ooooh – I was so going to say cold then I read this…. pies? A birthday gift of pop and pies? A Heston Blumenthal pie MAYBE… it would have actually been worth the postage to kick the box around for half and hour then post it back as “address unknown” bwahahaha!

    Reply

  19. May 6, 2010 @ 4:50 pm vegemitevix

    Thank you Mrs W I was starting to wonder if maybe I was you know becoming a bitch…

    Reply

  20. May 6, 2010 @ 4:53 pm utterlyscrummy

    YUM! Big ben pies? L&P OMG! Would have been nice for the inconsiderate shite to spring for something better tho. Maybe when he is 18? Sounds like a selfish dropkick.

    Glad you have moved on to brighter and better things. Hope you're OK hun xx

    Reply

  21. May 6, 2010 @ 5:09 pm vegemitevix

    It's a New Zealand tradition, although amusingly these pies aren't an NZ brand. Bought at the SANZA store in London but a brand I've never heard of.

    Reply

  22. May 6, 2010 @ 10:10 pm Rachael

    Oh my god. What a tosser. Just keep thinking of karma. He’ll get his in the end.

    Reply

    • May 7, 2010 @ 7:06 pm vegemitevix

      Sometimes I think karma and I need to have a little talk….. but then if I knew when it would kick in it wouldn’t be karma, would it?

      Reply

  23. May 6, 2010 @ 11:10 pm Rachael

    Oh my god. What a tosser. Just keep thinking of karma. He'll get his in the end.

    Reply

  24. May 6, 2010 @ 5:13 pm britinbosnia

    There's nowt so strange as folk – at what point did his brain compute that would be a good present for a 16 year old? Taste that revenge, you deserved every delicate morsel!

    Reply

  25. May 6, 2010 @ 10:14 pm Michelloui

    Oh man. Ex’s are funny things. I used to want to rip the windpipe out of mine and shove it up his backside. My ex has similar crap parenting issues. I tell my daughter ‘he loves you very much he just doesnt know how to be a good dad.’ Im sorry you experienced this at such a special time (your son’s birthday). And as for the Interested Bystander… well, it shouldn’t matter if you work or not, the father has legal responsibilities as well as a moral obligation. His duties are completely separate to what you do or don’t do. Sounds like you’ve chosen a really ace guy this time though! x

    Reply

    • May 7, 2010 @ 7:08 pm vegemitevix

      I can see a sunny weekend afternoon drinking a bottle of wine sharing war stories…in our future. You’re an inspiration! I do try to think positively but sometimes I fall a little short of the mark. I am very lucky I found my Englishman, as each year goes by (1st wedding anniversary next week!) I realise just how lucky..

      Reply

  26. May 6, 2010 @ 5:15 pm vegemitevix

    Er no. Not even Big Ben pies! A brand I've not ever heard of before from the SANZA shop. But it would have been helpful if it had been money for his bank account, or clothes or a phone or anything really. He went up to Sainsbury the very day he turned 16 to get a job.

    Reply

  27. May 6, 2010 @ 6:31 pm mummymania

    Fantastic!

    Reply

  28. May 6, 2010 @ 6:46 pm Steve

    I'd have put teethmarks in the crust and sent them back. What a git. Has he ever seen Scrooged? Billy Murray's Scrooge as a boy is given some meat for Christmas by his nasty butcher dad. I'm sure you could find a link to the scene on YouTube and email it to him.

    Reply

  29. May 6, 2010 @ 7:34 pm mummylimited

    What an odd gift. Why not wire him some money too so he could get a proper gift. Glad you enjoyed it. You should've sent him a pic of you tucking in.

    Reply

  30. May 6, 2010 @ 7:47 pm diney

    very strange gift – was it a metaphor or something? Like Forest Gump and 'life is just a box of chocolates' !! Or is he just a bit weird?!! Mad a good blog post though, and you enjoyed a bit of pie, which has to be a change I imagine!

    Reply

  31. May 6, 2010 @ 8:53 pm scribblingmum

    I loved this post! Grrr to absent men who put their own anger and hurt before their kids. My nieces dad is feckin shameful. After her first holiday with just her mum when she was 11 she had used her own money to buy him a little pot of honey as a gift. And you know what he said? 'No thanks I've got some in the cupboard' Aaarrgghh! Happy Birthday to your baby boy x

    Reply

  32. May 6, 2010 @ 9:14 pm Chic Mama

    Grrrr, back…..what is wrong with these men and how do they keep getting away with it?
    So, so sorry. Children are easily pleased aren't they and we sit there seething trying not to let it show.
    I found out something today, actually the things I find out are virtually a full time occupation, soooo cross. My blog only covers some of what happens as I'm so scared of being 'found'.
    I hope you actually enjoyed the pie….most of the stuff my children receive I can barely touch, let alone eat. :0(
    How tight sending pies though….and L & P? What is that?
    Take care. xxxx

    Reply

  33. May 6, 2010 @ 10:01 pm vegemitevix

    I guess what really got me is that of course the kids' love it, but it's ice-cream parenting. It's not helpful or constructive or thoughtful. My Englishman and I get to do all the 'dirty parenting'. All the horrible punishments, and to scrape to provide for all three kids. My ex justifies this by saying he doesnt want to subsidise my lifestyle! Oh and that I chose to come and live in the UK.

    Reply

  34. May 6, 2010 @ 10:01 pm vegemitevix

    I certainly relished it.

    Reply

  35. May 6, 2010 @ 10:02 pm vegemitevix

    I know this post does paint me as somewhat twisted I guess, but it was worth every bite!

    Reply

  36. May 6, 2010 @ 10:04 pm vegemitevix

    That would have been excellent to send him back the crust. You know it makes me feel a wee bit better that a bloke thinks this is shitty behaviour!

    Reply

  37. May 6, 2010 @ 10:05 pm vegemitevix

    I should have. Poor kid actually went up to Sainsbury's to try and get a job that very afternoon!

    Reply

  38. May 6, 2010 @ 10:06 pm vegemitevix

    Nope not a metaphor. He does it with all three kids. He's quite a different character.

    Reply

  39. May 6, 2010 @ 10:08 pm vegemitevix

    That is so heartless what a horrible man. The kids feel quite defensive and I really understand that, but it makes me so angry and really puts the pressure on us to provide for them.

    Reply

  40. May 6, 2010 @ 10:10 pm vegemitevix

    I can only explain it by thinking that very few women would ever 'divorce' their children but some men seem to do it so easily. Out with the old family, in with the new family. Out with the old wife, in with the new? L&P is a New Zealand softdrink. It is special in that sense and I don't have an issue with that…I just feel that their Father should actually do more to support his children.

    Reply

  41. May 6, 2010 @ 10:40 pm vegemitevix

    So I received a lovely comment from an Interested By Stander. Well nosey person you don't have as much information as you might suspect. You do not have accurate information about what the children have had or not had. And as for getting off my chuff and earning money over the past 12 months – well a)I was restricted from working (or leaving the country) by the UK Home Office. I have the court details to prove this. b)My husband, has provided for all three children, buying clothes, food, putting a roof over their heads the entire time…and they're not his blood childen!

    And as for publishing my view of events – this is my blog. My space. Fuck off.

    Reply

  42. May 6, 2010 @ 10:48 pm Muddling Along Mummy

    I don't know how you retain your sense of humour during all of this – he's acted appallingly and yet you have managed to come through, find your Englishman, keep your family together and come through brighter and better

    Meh to him (and to any interested commentators allied to him)

    Reply

  43. May 6, 2010 @ 10:52 pm Interested By Stander

    Charming. Your blog, your space, your fantasy world from the sounds of it……

    Reply

  44. May 6, 2010 @ 11:14 pm michelloui

    Oh man. Ex's are funny things. I used to want to rip the windpipe out of mine and shove it up his backside. My ex has similar crap parenting issues. I tell my daughter 'he loves you very much he just doesnt know how to be a good dad.' Im sorry you experienced this at such a special time (your son's birthday). And as for the Interested Bystander… well, it shouldn't matter if you work or not, the father has legal responsibilities as well as a moral obligation. His duties are completely separate to what you do or don't do. Sounds like you've chosen a really ace guy this time though! x

    Reply

  45. May 7, 2010 @ 9:54 am Metropolitan Mum

    Ahhhhhhh. Gotta love that box.

    WHat I meant to say: Well done you for having a bit of hot revenge with sauce. And well done you for getting rid of that bugger.

    xx MM

    Reply

    • May 7, 2010 @ 7:09 pm vegemitevix

      Thank you Met Mum. Actually one favour Interested By Stander did for me was to remind me of those days when I felt emotionally pushed around. I’m well out of that now, and extremely grateful that I am.

      Reply

  46. May 7, 2010 @ 8:26 am Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

    I find it odd that you would be so interested. What makes the world such a great place is if you don't like something you read, you really don't have to come back.

    And this is a place where the blogger is free to write things from her own point of view. Her side. With her friends and her support.

    Get over it and please be noxious and obnoxious somewhere else.

    Reply

  47. May 7, 2010 @ 10:54 am Metropolitan Mum

    Ahhhhhhh. Gotta love that box.

    WHat I meant to say: Well done you for having a bit of hot revenge with sauce. And well done you for getting rid of that bugger.

    xx MM

    Reply

  48. May 7, 2010 @ 8:05 pm vegemitevix

    Thank you for your support. I do lose my sense of humour but I always seem to grab it back again. I guess it's my survival strategy. xx

    Reply

  49. May 7, 2010 @ 8:06 pm vegemitevix

    Sometimes I think karma and I need to have a little talk….. but then if I knew when it would kick in it wouldn't be karma, would it?

    Reply

  50. May 7, 2010 @ 8:08 pm vegemitevix

    I can see a sunny weekend afternoon drinking a bottle of wine sharing war stories…in our future. You're an inspiration! I do try to think positively but sometimes I fall a little short of the mark. I am very lucky I found my Englishman, as each year goes by (1st wedding anniversary next week!) I realise just how lucky..

    Reply

  51. May 7, 2010 @ 8:09 pm vegemitevix

    Thank you Met Mum. Actually one favour Interested By Stander did for me was to remind me of those days when I felt emotionally pushed around. I'm well out of that now, and extremely grateful that I am.

    Reply

  52. May 7, 2010 @ 8:09 pm vegemitevix

    Thanks Susie you're a wise woman! xx

    Reply

  53. May 8, 2010 @ 12:55 am nondomestic goddess

    That's hysterical you-know-who-you-are pretending to be an impartial – come on 'fess up – we all know it's you – dork. Why else would you be an “Interested By Stander” (I think it's bystander isn't it – or are you something else we don't about). Commenting on what? Who do you represent? inadequate parents worldwide – come on “man up” and front up.

    Reply

  54. May 8, 2010 @ 11:48 pm cartside

    I hope the pies were still edible??? I mean, how long were they in transit?
    Everything else has already been said – so won’t repeat. Bizarre is all I can say.

    Reply

  55. May 9, 2010 @ 12:48 am cartside

    I hope the pies were still edible??? I mean, how long were they in transit?
    Everything else has already been said – so won't repeat. Bizarre is all I can say.

    Reply


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